I hope the 1st part of your year is going well, mine’s been good for the most part.
It’s been a long time since I did a blog post, since the 31st Jan actually. I had so many ideas & plans but never seem to be able to get any started. Full of empty promises which wasn’t my intention.
I’m still going to church on Sundays & I’m being baptised on Sunday 7th July, I don’t know why but I feel I’m struggling with my faith a little, not with my belief in God, Jesus & the Holy spirit but with prayer & my Bible studies, I really want to be a good Christian & have my mind, heart & every area of my life filled with God but I feel a bit like……meh with it??? I even said to my niece on Sunday that I nearly didn’t go church & actually thought, who’s bothered if I don’t go??? Regardless of the fact that other people at church would be bothered, I’m bothered but more importantly, so is God. The want is there, I just need to put in the work. The amount of times I said that this is too easy when I 1st started going to church??? Honestly, looking back, it’s actually silly how I thought it was going to be easy, it’s not at all easy, I was new to faith then, only just felt Gods love (well, actually, looking back over my life so far, he’s been there on many occasions, I just didn’t realise it then), I should’ve known better.
I feel off at the moment, my symptoms are making me think I’m either pregnant (which would possibly be a miracle) or menopausal??? I’m tired all the time, I’ve spent most of the weekend in bed, I’m irritable, emotional, nauseated, I’ve put weight on (who’s NOT surprised 😂), my belly is big in a lot of my clothes more than normal, a friend thinks I’m depressed, I don’t feel depressed……I don’t know, I’m making an appointment at the doctors today (Monday 3rd June), so hopefully I’ll find out if I’m menopausal or depressed.
To get up every day not knowing if I’m going to feel irritated all day or if the tiredness will wait till I get home is no fun. I seriously think my hormones are out of balance in some way, so that means more blood tests, I’ve lost count how many of those I’ve had over the years.
Wowsa, I’ve just read this back & although it’s what’s clogging my brain up, it sounds a little bleak. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of things that make me happy every day & what I’m so thankful for, I’ve got family & friends who love me, a fiancé who adores me & my lord God, who loves me unconditionally. This is just a momentary blip & once I’ve been doc’s, it’ll all be fine.
My next blog post will be more appealing to read because it’s a wedding update, after that, I have no idea, I’m making no promises & have no idea when I’ll next want to write a blog post, I’d like to at least do a monthly one & wedding planning updates. We’ll see what happens.
I hope you have a fantastic week.
Bye for now.