Hey lovelies,

I had so many plans for blogtober & then life started getting in the way.

My blogtober has started off extremely stressful at work, there’s been a few changes & I’m not the best at change, I think that’s why the universe keeps giving me it……you will get used to change……, the 1st week was horrendous but the 2nd week wasn’t as bad, this week however, feels promising. When I’m stressed & anxious, it consumes pretty much every aspects of my life, I really wished it didn’t & if you have any tips to help with that, I’d be so grateful.

During all the stress of those 1st 2 weeks, which, probably added to it, my mum, who deeply sadly, passed away on April 28th this year, would’ve been 80 on the 6th October, we had a little family gathering, it was lovely to see everyone together, it doesn’t happen very often & mum loved those times. Strangely enough, mum wasn’t mentioned much, which at the time, never entered my head but looking back, it was probably because no-one either knew what to say or didn’t want to upset anyone. My nephew did make a toast to her while there were about 5 of us left in the room & we were talking about her briefly then.

Me & Richard have decided to start planning our wedding & although I know that the 2 most important aspects for me are that at the end of the day, I bear Richards name & that my family & friends share our special memories with us, I also want all these different things to be perfect but I need to be able to do them on such a tight budget! I’ve decided to blog the whole (well most of it) planning journey & I can’t wait.

Going along with the start of our wedding planning, we haven’t even decided on a season yet, that’s got to be our 1st decision because everything else has to coincide with the traditional, British, seasonal weather but we have decided to get married in a church & with that in mind, we went to our local church for the Sunday service on the 7th Oct, it didn’t go well because I got upset & just had to leave but I went yesterday with my niece & her daughter, we stayed until the very end, they had Sunday school for the children which my nieces daughter went to & the young ones made cards to give to random people who attended the service, I received a card off a young boy, not everyone received one, so I felt very lucky & it’s now on my fridge (bless him), we even stayed for the refreshments after & we got to talk to the vicar about anything & everything, he’s very nice & welcoming, he told me that if I ever needed to talk about anything, I could ring him any time.

I had a different post entirely scheduled for today but while listening to the service at the church, I was compelled to change it & decided to post about my 1st half of blogtober, I’m so glad I did, the original one was me moaning about how annoyed I felt about a huge change a work & how I felt ignored by certain staff but I’m very close to being over that now & no-one wants to read that.

I’ve been binge watching one of my favourite American YouTubers for the last month or so, she’s a Christian & she journals every morning, along with reading words of god (I’m not about to start reading words of god every morning), while I was at yesterdays church service, the archbishop of Loughborough, a lady called Claire something (I wish I could remember her last name), she was hilarious & she talked about doing a gratitude/thankful journal every morning, now that REALLY appeals to me but I wouldn’t be able to do it every morning right away, I’d have to build up to that amount of commitment but I’d like to do one at least once a week & I think everyone should do one at least once a week because when you’re feeling low & sad, like the whole worlds against you, you’d be surprised at what you’re grateful for when you start writing, I’m grateful for so many things but when I’m at my most anxious, stressed & worked up, they never even get a consideration, so I think that if I start to make an active, conscious effort to remember them, I’m hoping that it will help with my anxiety & stress levels, I don’t want to be a stress head forever & I want to be remembered for more than just a stress head & my flatulence (I have terrible wind, hehe).

sdr — This is my new view while I’m having lunch in my new area of work.

Today is my day off work because I’m working this weekend, which, strangely enough, I’m looking forward to, I actually like to see all the different aspects of the area I work in & I get on well with both the staff that are working with me on the Saturday & Sunday.

As you can see, the 1st half of my blogtober has been pretty much eventless but I’m hopeful that the 2nd half will be more halloween themed, i.e. pumpkin carving, dressing up, I MAY even have a go a some baking??? We’ll see (hehe). I’d also love to make my favourite soup, spicy parsnip & apple, I’ve not had it in sooo long. My niece was talking about doing some pumpkin baking, let’s see what the rest of the month brings.