Blogtober#4 – Mind dump Monday

If Morning Started Around Noon

Hey lovelies,

I hope you had a lovely weekend.

With remembering that these posts are for me to dump out what’s in my head, whatever that may be…… let me tell you about my weekend, it was a busy one, with a lot of sadness thrown in.

Let me tell you why, my mother would’ve been 80 on Saturday & we had a little family gathering with that in mind. I started the day at my sisters having stayed there on Friday night with Richard, dad picked us up about 11am, we dropped Richard off at home, then me & dad went shopping for the stuff needed for the gathering.

All morning, I felt sad & moody but it didn’t last all day & when everyone arrived, we all had a nice time, it was nice to see everyone under the one roof, it doesn’t happen very often & it’s the one thing that mum loved to see.

Today (Sunday 7th), me & Richard went to our local parish church because we want to get married in a church & Richard wanted to get a feeling for the place. I’m not a religious person really but my mum was & I don’t know what it was but while they were talking I was fine but as soon as they started singing, I just kept crying, I couldn’t help myself, to begin with I didn’t mind crying because no-one could hear me but during one song (I can’t remember what any of them were called) I couldn’t stop myself from crying (again) but this time, the crying was too much & I just walked out of the church, leaving Richard standing there with all our things, I didn’t know what else to do, I felt embarrassed, silly almost & then, after I walked out, I felt like I needed to apologise for doing so. We’re going to go back next week & I’m hoping it doesn’t happen again.

I don’t know why I kept crying through some of the songs, I wasn’t even singing along much to any of them, all I do know is that I felt like I was going to suffocate if I didn’t leave.

I don’t want all of these mind dump Monday posts to be about loss & grief but right now, that’s what’s in my head & I need it out anyway I can get it. I don’t put it up here necessarily for anyone to read it but for me to feel some relief & maybe reflection later on down the line.

One good thing to come out of this weekend is that my cousin is going to help me design my wedding stationary. I plan to blog my wedding planning journey but right now, it’s not as easy as it should be to get started. One thing I read earlier today was an article on 5 mistakes couples make when picking a wedding venue & one of them was picking a wedding venue too small, they recommend sending out your invites 1st getting your RSVPs & then booking your venue based on your definite numbers?? Richard’s definitely not loving that idea!!

That’s all for now.

Have an amazing week.

Bye for now.

Autumn_LI

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~ Live Life With A Smile ~

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